Week Seven of the NFL season has passed, and I have to apologize for the lengthy delay on this week’s article. Instead of wasting your time, let’s hop directly into the rankings, enjoy!
1- Philadelphia Eagles (6-0)
Philadelphia is having an amazing couple of weeks. Only undefeated team in the NFL, Phillies world series, 76ers have actually had a really weird start, and I don’t watch Hockey. Grease the poles Philly, the fans are coming.
2-Buffalo Bills (5-1)
Bills get a bye, really nothing to see here. That new Josh Allen commercial is pretty cool though.
3- Kansas City Chiefs (5-2)
Patrick Mahomes MVP case grows every single game, and this game was another Mahomes classic. Mahomes had 423 yards passing, three passing touchdowns and an interception. Ex-Steeler JuJu Smith-Schuster led the game in receiving yards with 124 and a touchdown, having another huge game for Kansas City. Unless the Bills and Eagles really fall off of a cliff, I don’t see the Chiefs leaving the number three spot, and will most likely stay behind the Bills the rest of the season.
Game Ball: Patrick Mahomes III
4- Minnesota Vikings (5-1)
Bye week for the Vikings, less writing for me. Minnesota doesn’t move but stays in the top five.
5- New York Giants (6-1)
This team (and entire division) makes zero sense, but the New York Giants are 6-1 and continue to prove all of their doubters wrong every single game. Daniel Jones had his best game of the season, throwing for 202 yards and a touchdown and rushing for 107 yards and a rushing touchdown, decimating Jacksonville’s defense. Saquon had an amazing game as well, rushing for 110 yards and 25 yards through the air. Darius Slayton had the lone receiving touchdown, and this team feels complete offensively. Defensively, the Jaguars should’ve never been able to score 17, but there are kinks to this great team, and we will see how they do the rest of the season in New York.
Game Ball: Daniel Jones
6- Dallas Cowboys (5-2)
Dallas barely held a lead in the third quarter, then went on to score 14 in the fourth quarter, showing that Dak and company are back in full force. Dak had 207 passing yards and a passing touchdown, showing the hand injury is fully healed and he is back. Tony Pollard led the game with 83 rushing yards followed by Ezekial Elliott’s dominant day with 57 yards and two rushing touchdowns. CeeDee Lamb had 70 receiving yards but the one receiving touchdown was to Peyton Hendershot. The win over Detroit really was in part to the defense, picking off Goff twice, sacking him five times, and not allowing a touchdown in the game. Is this Dallas’ year? Who knows, but it does look promising for Dallas.
Game Ball: Ezekiel Elliott
7- Cincinnati Bengals (4-3)
I made fun of the Bengals for their slow start, but this was easily their most dominant performance of the season, and the real start of their revenge tour. Joe Burrow had the best passing game of the week, throwing for 481 yards, three touchdowns, and no interceptions. Joe also had a touchdown on his feet, being responsible for four out of the five total touchdowns. Mixon had 58 yards and a rushing touchdown, proving he’s still a solid running back on a solid team. Tyler Boyd led the game in receiving yards with 155 yards and a receiving touchdown, right behind him was Ja’Marr Chase with 130 receiving yards and two receiving touchdowns. The Bengals dominated the Falcons, putting the game away in the first half with 28 first half points, not really needing to even show up in the second to defeat Atlanta.
Game Ball: Joe Burrow
8- Baltimore Ravens (4-3)
This was a sloppy win to say the very least. Lamar Jackson had the oddest stat line of the week, throwing 9-for-14 for 120 yards and no touchdowns, also rushing for 59 yards. Gus Edwards is a staple of this team, and the only reason they won at the end of the day. Gus had sixteen carries for 66 yards and two touchdowns. For some reason, neither team could really throw the ball on Sunday, and it came down to their running backs and kickers, and Justin Tucker’s leg won them the game with his nine points off of three field goals.
Game Ball: Gus Edwards
9- New York Jets (5-2)
From all of The Dyspatch, we wish Breece Hall a speedy recovery and wish him well. Speaking of Breece, he had the lone touchdown for the Jets as well as 72 rushing yards on only four rushes, averaging 18 yards per carry against Denver. Besides Bryce, not much happened for the Jets. Zach Wilson had another odd week, not throwing a touchdown but still playing well. Greg “the leg” Zuerlein played well, making all four of his kicks and having ten points in the game. Again, our prayers out to Breece Hall.
Game Ball: Breece Hall
10- Tennessee Titans (4-2)
Randy Bullock has to get the game ball, being responsible for 13 of the Titans 19 points. No one on the Titans offense scored a touchdown, but they still had a two-possession lead over the Colts most of the game. Derrick Henry did carry the offense, rushing the ball 30 times for 128 yards, just punching Indianapolis’ defense in the mouth every play. Tannehill had 132 yards passing. That’s it. Sorry actually he did have six rushing yards as well. That’s the stat line for Tannehill. At 4-2 the Titans are in a good spot in the AFC, but can’t have a repeat of this performance if they want to be a playoff contender.
Game Ball: Randy Bullock
11- Seattle Seahawks (4-3)
I just didn’t see the Seahawks being over .500 at this point, and I thought the Geno Smith-Drew Lock grooming would’ve already resulted in Lock starting, but Geno is playing better than anyone expected. Geno Smith had 210 passing yards, two passing touchdowns and an interception in their huge win over legitimate contender Chargers. Kenneth Walker III had a huge day on the ground, having 167 rushing yards and two rushing touchdowns. Goodwin caught both of Geno’s touchdowns, leading the team in receiving yards with 67. The defense played better than usual, forcing three sacks and an interception. In our weekly Michael Jackson watch, we go over Seahawks defender Michael Jackson’s stats, only because his name is Michael Jackson. Michael had five tackles and looked great, and that’s all on the MJ watch.
Game Ball: Kenneth Walker III
12- Los Angeles Chargers (4-3)
The Chargers didn’t even play awful, but they got stomped by Seattle. Injured Justin Herbert had 293 yards passing, two touchdowns and an interception. Shoutout to Devine Sports Gospel for their disdain with the Chargers management, who shouldn’t be letting their young franchise quarterback play through an injury like this. Austin Ekeler was all over the field, having 31 rushing yards and a rushing touchdown as well as 96 receiving yards and a touchdown reception, leading the team in both categories. The reason the Chargers lost wasn’t due to lack of trying, more not being able to convert, having to punt five times. JK Scott punted very well, punting for 228 yards, landing three of his punts inside the 20. If you ever see me write about a punter, he either had a great game punting, he got blocked, or the team they play for did so bad I had to write about their punter. Take it how you will Chargers fans.
13- Miami Dolphins (4-3)
Tua made his comeback, and it may have been too soon based off of Miami’s performance. Tua had an efficient 261 yards and a touchdown, and I can speak for everyone at The Dyspatch in saying we are very happy to see him back and healthy. The Waddle-Hill connection still proves to be one of the scariest in the league, and they’re not even close to hitting their full potential yet, combining for 159 receiving yards. Mostert played very well as well, rushing for 79 yards and having the lone touchdown reception as well as thirty yards receiving wise. The Dolphins are going to need another week or two to get things together, but they win a close one against Pittsburgh.
Game Ball: Tua Tagovailoa
14- Tampa Bay Buccaneers (3-4)
Tom Brady has a below .500 record for the first time since 2002… I was not alive the last time we saw this happen, and Brady and company got destroyed by a former XFL quarterback, being the biggest loss of Brady’s career in Tampa Bay. Brady threw for 290 yards, no touchdowns, no interceptions, he was just out there to throw. The ground game was a big catalyst in them losing on Sunday, their top rusher only having 24 yards. Mike Evans dropped a go-ahead touchdown, then signed autographs for the referees, just bringing even more unwanted publicity to Tampa Bay. Big shout out to Jake Camarda with his six punts for 279 yards, two punts inside the twenty, but if Tampa plays like this against Buffalo, Philadelphia, Kansas City or more offensive juggernauts, I don’t want to have to write about their punter.
15- Los Angeles Rams (3-3)
Bye week for LA, and if you’ve been looking at other Los Angeles sports, they may have needed it this week.
16- San Francisco 49ers (3-4)
When Brock Purdy gets in a game, it probably didn’t go well. When Jimmy was in, he threw for 303 yards, two touchdowns and an interception. The worst part about this game was that they had a 10-0 lead, and then lost by 21 points and let the Chiefs have 44 points. Christian McAffrey made his debut, rushing for 38 yards and having 24 yards receiving, a solid debut by CMC. On Nation Tight End Day, George Kittle led his team in receiving yards with 98 yards and a touchdown. My personal favorite name in the NFL Ray-Ray McCloud had a touchdown as well. You can’t expect much when facing the Chiefs, and just like in the Super Bowl, the 49ers lose to the Chiefs after leading by ten points or more.
17- Green Bay Packers (3-4)
Aaron Rodgers just needs a weapon to throw to, and the Packers are desperately searching, but losing to an XFL quarterback on a team with less weapons is an embarrassment. Aaron played well, having 194 yards passing and two touchdowns, but the rest of his offense and defense decided not to show up in Week Seven, just like they haven’t been all season. The running back group of Aaron Jones and A.J. Dillon combined for 38 yards rushing, a disappointment to say the least. When your top receiver has 55 yards, it’s an issue. The defense only recorded one sack against an awful Washington offensive line, and only one interception to a once XFL quarterback, this was just a bad showing by Green Bay.
18- Arizona Cardinals (3-4)
DeAndre Hopkins is back, and Thursdays there isn’t double XP on Call Of Duty, so the Cardinals got a much needed win over Arizona. While you’d expect the game to be won by the offense, the back-to-back pick sixes were what really won them the game. Kyler Murray had an efficient game, going twenty-for-twenty-nine passing with 204 passing yards and a touchdown, while also rushing for thirty yards. Eno Benjamin led the game in rushing yards, having 92 yards and a touchdown. DeAndre Hopkins made his big return, having ten catches for just over 100 yards. I’m not going to pretend like this team will go 13-4 and shock the world, but they look to get better and better every week.
Game Ball: Kyler Murray
19- Indianapolis Colts (3-3-1)
Sometimes I don’t understand how this team has three wins, but we saw them lose a game over half the league should have won. Matt Ryan had 243 passing yards, a touchdown and two interceptions. Jonathan Taylor finished with only 58 rushing yards and 27 receiving yards. The lone touchdown was scored by Parris Campbell, who also led the team in receiving yards with 70 yards. Indianapolis just didn’t really show up in this game, and it shows in all of the stats. Matt Hack had a great day punting, but you don’t want to hear me talk y’all just want to dance. Yes, I just put an OutKast bar in my article.
20- New England Patriots (3-4)
Mac Jones got to have the first couple drives, going three-for-six, 13 yards and an interception, where he was then attacked with boo’s by the entire New England crowd, and that’s when Bailey Zappe came into the game. On that last drive for Mac Jones, he rushed for a first down, kicking number nine of Chicago’s defense right in the family jewels, then throwing an interception to the same guy on the next play. Even as a Patriots fan, it was really funny karma. Zappe had a perfect two drives, after that only throwing ducks. Zappe threw for 185 yards, a touchdown, and three interceptions, two of which were in garbage time. The Patriots need to figure out their quarterback controversy, and with a tough schedule ahead we will see what happens with New England, but a blowout loss to Chicago makes it feel like we’re back in the 90’s. Cue the Icky Shuffle.
21- Atlanta Falcons (3-4)
When you allow the other team to put up 28 points in the first half, but you yourself have 17 in the second quarter, it’s not a bad look. It’s a bad look when you get shut out in the second half, and only finish with 17 points. Marcus Mariota didn’t play badly at all, going eight-for-thirteen for 124 passing yards and a touchdown as well as 31 rushing yards. Besides Mariota, there really is nothing to say about this team, no one stood out in the slightest and this felt like a beat down in all three aspects of the game. Atlanta is in a very weak division and could literally be leading the division by next week, but it may be all too soon for Atlanta.
22- Washington Commanders (3-4)
Later in this article, ten spots below actually, you will see another XFL quarterback dethroning a legend, but Washington’s own Taylor Heinecke did it against Aaron Rodgers. Heinecke threw for 201 yards, two passing touchdowns and an interception in the Commanders 23-21 win over Green Bay. Maybe starting Heinecke over Carson Wentz is the best option for the rest of the season because we’ve seen proof that the Carson Wentz experiment is going awful in Washington. Taylor connected with seven different receivers, spreading the ball around equally. I don’t think Washington can make the playoffs in their division, but Washington being 3-4 in Week 7 isn’t something I wouldn’t have predicted confidently.
Game Ball: Taylor Heinecke
23- Pittsburg Steelers (2-5)
What’s up Ryan. The Kenny Pickett experiment is… experimenting? Kenny threw for 257 yards, a touchdown and three interceptions. I hesitate to say the interceptions are necessarily bad, because Peyton Manning holds the rookie record for interceptions in a season, and he has two super bowls. The Steelers didn’t really get much out of this game besides another loss in the column, now dropping to 2-5. Pickens is having a great season, and one of few things Steelers fans can be happy about.
24- Las Vegas Raiders (2-4)
The Raiders finally get their second win of the season, and finally work as a group in their blowout win over Houston. Derek Carr threw for 241 yards and a touchdown, his favorite receiver being Davante Adams, leading the game in receiving yards with 95 yards. Josh Jacobs carried this team on his back, and the other team for that matter. Jacobs rushed for 143 yards on twenty carries, averaging 7.2 yards per carry, and having three rushing touchdowns. While a blowout win over the 1-4-1 Houston Texans shouldn’t be the biggest flex, but it may be the tune up game Las Vegas needed.
Game Ball: Josh Jacobs
25- Chicago Bears (3-4)
Chicago didn’t start off too hot against New England, but dominated in the second half, winning by 21 points. Fields may have gotten beaten up by Matt Judon a lot this game, but he still killed the Patriots. Fields threw for 179 yards, a touchdown and an interception and ran for 82 yards and a touchdown, carrying Chicago to their blowout win. Chicago is nearing a .500 record and is tied in the division with Green Bay, could we see a potential Chicago playoff run this year?
Game Ball: Justin Fields
26- Jacksonville Jaguars (2-5)
Trevor Lawrence threw for a lot of yards, but not a lot of points. Trevor Lawrence had over 300 yards passing, no touchdowns, no interceptions, but did have a rushing touchdown. Travis Etienne Jr. had a dominant day with 114 rushing yards and a touchdown, but it really came down to the Jaguars defense. No one has been able to stop the Giants this season, but it felt like they could get anything they wanted in this game. If the Jaguars won and were 3-4, this season looks a lot different, but at 2-5, the season may already be over for them.
27- Denver Broncos (2-5)
Nephew of Super Bowl XXVI MVP Matt Rypien, Brett Rypien started in place of Russell Wilson. Rypien went for 225 yards and an interception, which was expected. Jerry Jeudy had 96 receiving yards and Latavius Murray had the lone touchdown of the game for Denver. The minute you let the Jets make a win look easy against you, your season is over. The only hope for Denver is if Peyton Manning unretires or Tim Tebow comes back to the quarterback position, but it’s almost safe to say Denver’s season is most likely over. Broncos Country, let’s die.
28- New Orleans Saints (2-5)
Andy Dalton just airs out the ball a lot, and this game it finally worked out to four passing touchdowns, the bad side was the three interceptions. The Cardinals defense is the only thing that feels smaller than Kyler Murray, and the Saints trick-play offense did not take advantage. Taysom Hill was all over the field, completing two passes for forty-eight yards, rushing for nine yards, and having one three yard touchdown reception. Andy Dalton had the most Jameis Winston stat line by someone not named Jameis Winston, throwing for 361 yards, four passing touchdowns, and three interceptions. The receivers all played well, five of them having over fifty yards receiving. The Saints almost kept up with the potent offense of Arizona, but the turnovers are what cost them this game.
29- Cleveland Browns (2-5)
I can’t pretend like this is the worst we’ve seen the Browns, mostly because we watched them go 0-16 not too long ago, but they flat out sucked and barely lost to the Ravens. Jacoby Brisett had an efficient day, going 22-for-27 for over 250 passing yards, but no touchdowns. Nick Chubb had 91 yards on the ground and a touchdown, the other touchdown coming from Kareem Hunt. Cleveland’s biggest issue is that Deshaun Watson isn’t their quarterback, but the damage may already be done with five losses and only two wins.
30- Houston Texans (1-4-1)
It was tough to keep the worst record team not at the 32nd spot, but Houston would beat both of the teams below them. Davis Mills had 302 passing yards, two touchdowns and an interception in Houston’s 18-point loss to Las Vegas. Dameon Pierce continues to show the league how good he is, having 92 rushing yards over twenty carries. There isn’t that much to say about this loss, it was just their defense. Houston isn’t good enough to last in shootout games, but they’re getting there and rebuilding, showing definite improvement from last season.
31- Detroit Lions (2-5)
Detroit has had a very difficult two weeks. Goff didn’t pass badly against Dallas, only having five incompletions. The issue with that is, two of them were interceptions. The only reason this game wasn’t a full shutout was because of “The Money Badger” Michael Bagdley’s leg, giving them six points. I could give a full run down and analysis, but Detroit is in a race for a top three pick one again.
32- Carolina Panthers (2-5)
Even with a win over Tom Brady, I don’t think this Panthers team is anywhere higher on this list. P.J. Walker made his game versus the Buccaneers look like he was back in the XFL, dominating the entire game. P.J. went 16-for-22 for 177 yards and two passing touchdowns, outplaying Brady by a mile. D’Onta Foreman and Chuba Hubbard had great games on the ground, combining for 181 yards and a rushing touchdown. The top receiver for Carolina was D.J. Moore with 69 yards and a touchdown, as well as a Tommy Tremble receiving touchdown. Carolina totally should’ve lost this game, but P.J. Walker now owns an XFL MVP and an upset win over Tom Brady.
Game Ball: P.J. Walker
Are you happy with where your team ranked? Did I get any wrong? Let me know in the comments below!
TheDyspatch 