Week Five may not have had a hot start, but we had a few classics this week and ranking them was quite difficult this week, but I tried my best. Hope you enjoy seeing where your team is ranked this week, let me know what you think of the rankings.
1- Philadelphia Eagles (5-0)
You will see later in this article I do not trash Matt Ammendola for the Cardinals, but it is the only reason the Eagles didn’t have to go to overtime. I watched the entire game, and the Eagles probably would’ve won in OT if they got the ball first, but that’s just speculation. The Eagles are the only undefeated team left in the NFL, and Jalen Hurts is still making a dark horse MVP run. Hurts had 239 yards passing and 61 yards rushing with two rushing touchdowns, leading both teams on Sunday in rushing yards. Shockingly, the Eagles won due to their kicker while Arizona lost due to theirs, which is just a weird sentence to read. Without the two field goals by Cameron Dicker, Eagles aren’t undefeated, so give credit where it is due. The Eagles remain atop not only the NFC, but the NFL as a whole, and the last time the Eagles started off this hot, it ended with a Super Bowl ring.
Game Ball: Jaylen Hurts
2- Buffalo Bills (4-1)
Josh Allen is making an MVP run like we’ve never seen, keeping the bar high in Buffalo. Allen had 424 passing yards and four passing touchdowns, absolutely torching the injured defense of the Steelers. When Case Keenum gets in a game, you know your team did something right. Gabe Davis had the season-long touchdown, with a 98-yard play resulting in a touchdown for Buffalo. Davis had three catches for 171 yards and two touchdowns, near Randy Moss numbers. Diggs also had 100+ yards and a touchdown, and whether it’s the offense, defense or special teams, the Bills are an elite football team, and could be the best in the league by Week Eighteen.
Game Ball: Josh Allen
3- Kansas City Chiefs (4-1)
Kansas City escaped a Raiders upset by the skin of their teeth in a divisional shootout that was most likely the game of the week. The Chiefs are becoming like the Patriots of old, having insane comebacks seemingly every week. Patrick Mahomes had a signature performance with 292 passing yards and four passing touchdowns, but even with this stellar performance, he can’t win the game ball this week. The game ball this week has to go with the player with the oddest stat line, Travis Kelce. Kelce had seven catches for 25 yards, but four receiving touchdowns. Almost every time the ball went Kelce’s way, he scored a touchdown. The only thing lacking from Kansas City passing the Bills is their defense, and if they get an elite defense, the league will never recover.
Game Ball: Travis Kelce
4- Minnesota Vikings (4-1)
My favorite statistic of this game is easily that Justin Jefferson threw 100% for 23 yards passing. Besides him, Kirk Cousins threw for 296 yards, a touchdown and an interception. Dalvin Cook finally decided to show up before fantasy owners kicked his door down, having eighteen carries for 94 yards and two rushing touchdowns. Justin Jefferson may have been the best quarterback on the field with a minimum of one pass thrown, but he also had 154 receiving yards, proving he may be the Taysom Hill of the Vikings. Oddly enough, Jalen Reagor scored the lone receiving touchdown of the game, so maybe the Eagles were wrong?
Game Ball: Justin Jefferson
5- San Francisco 49ers (3-2)
Two-time Super Bowl Champion Jimmy Garoppolo had another great game in the absence of Trey Lance, going for 253 yards and two passing touchdowns. Jeffrey Wilson stepped up and rushed for 120 yards and a touchdown, also having one reception for twelve yards. Brandon Aiyuk led the team with 58 yards receiving, showing that “Jimmy G” is spreading the love to many receivers. The critically acclaimed ‘Wide Back’ Deebo Samuel had twelve yards rushing and twenty yards receiving, shockingly not showing up in a blowout win in Carolina. San Francisco is going all out this season for a Super Bowl run, something they were inches from last year, and they are a scary team and will be going forward the rest of the season.
Game Ball: Jeffrey Wilson
6- Tampa Bay Buccaneers (3-2)
Tom Brady isn’t playing badly, but most people can agree his production isn’t like the Brady of old, but he still played very well in a win over the Falcons. TB12 had 351 yards and a passing touchdown, but the game ball will not be his, mostly because then Gisele would get half of it. Leonard Fournette had fourteen carries for fifty-six yards and a rushing touchdown as well as ten receptions for 83 yards and a receiving touchdown, easily winning my game ball. Tom Brady is 9-0 against the Falcons, but shockingly, the Buccaneers almost choked this game away. The Bucs scored 21-points straight, then allowed the Falcons to try and comeback, but still lost by six. The Buccaneers aren’t as good as the first two years of the Brady era, but are still a force to be reckoned with.
Game Ball: Leonard Fournette
7- Dallas Cowboys (4-1)
Cooper Rush may be undefeated as a starter, but you could’ve thrown Zeke in at quarterback and they would’ve beaten the Rams. The rushing game won it for Dallas with Ezekial Elliott and Tony Pollard combining for 150+ yards and the only offensive touchdown of the game for Dallas. If Dak comes back healthy and dominated, this could finally be the Cowboys year they’ve been waiting for all of this millennium. Demarcus Lawrence’s fumble recovery TD was the biggest highlight of the game, and I’m going to have to give him this week’s game ball, but this was a team win over one player shining.
Game Ball: Demarcus Lawrence
8- Baltimore Ravens (3-2)
Justin Tucker does it again, winning the Ravens this close game against the Super Bowl runner up in the Bengals. Lamar Jackson had a great game with 174 yards passing and a touchdown while also rushing for 58 yards. Mark Andrews had the lone touchdown in what felt like a slowed down soccer game between two AFC giants, but did not disappoint at the end of the day. While Lamar had a killer game and Baltimore’s defense played incredible, the game ball for this week has to go to Justin Tucker.
Game Ball: Justin Tucker
9- Los Angeles Chargers (3-2)
Justin Herbert may only have half of a rib in his body, but he is still a top-ten quarterback in this league. Herbert went for 228 yards and a touchdown, but the win has to be pinned on the shoulders of Austin Ekeler. Ekeler had 173 yards rushing and a touchdown, carrying this game for LA. Ekeler also caught a touchdown, having 26 receiving yards on four catches. Mike Williams may have not scored, but his 134 receiving yards was dazzling to watch. It felt like the Chargers were in a shootout with Cleveland, but Herbert and company were never afraid of the Browns.
Game Ball: Austin Ekeler
10- New York Giants (4-1)
Any game in London is a worldwide fan favorite, and the Giants gave the Green Bay Packers their first loss in their first game in London. The game ball is a toss up for this one, but Daniel Jones had a signature game of his, by that meaning not scoring a touchdown but being productive. “Danny Dimes” threw for 217 yards and rushed for 37, that’s pretty much it. Saquon Barkeley had seventy yards on thirteen carries and a rushing touchdown, easily getting the game ball this week. Gary Brightwell and Daniel Bellinger also scored rushing touchdowns. The biggest factor in this week’s shocking Giants win was the defense, not allowing reigning back-to-back MVP Aaron Rodgers and the Packers to score in the second half (unless you’re counting the intentional safety, but I’m not really counting it). The Giants crack into the top ten, where they may actually prove to be this year. If you would’ve told me the Giants would have four wins after week five, I would’ve told you you’re wrong.
Game Ball: Saquon Barkeley
11- Cincinnati Bengals (2-3)
The revenge tour is not going very well for Joe Burrow and company. Burrow had a solid game with 217 passing yards, one touchdown and one interception. The offense wasn’t as good as it usually is, but on the defensive side Vonn Bell had another interception this season, something I feel like I write every week. The Bengals are looking to take a competitive spot in their division, and it will not happen if they continue to play like this.
12- Green Bay Packers (3-2)
Aaron Rodgers was, and still is undefeated against the New York Giants… on American soil. But after yesterday, the Giants hand the Packers their first loss in London in their first game in London. Aaron doesn’t have many weapons, but the ones he does have really disappeared in the second half. Rodgers went 25-for-39 for 222 yards and two touchdowns, but did not produce in the second half. The biggest reason I’m not dropping the Packers further is because of the fact it is a London game, which is an odd game and schedule for any team.
13- Los Angeles Rams (2-3)
Los Angeles had two players not named Matt Stafford throw a pass, even in a loss, that’s still pretty cool. Stafford threw for 308 yards, a touchdown and an interception, Riley Dixon completed one pass for twelve yards, and everyone’s favorite underdog Cooper Kupp had a pass attempt that went incomplete. Kupp had 125 yards receiving and a touchdown, and was the best player on the Rams, but the rushing game does not exist for the Rams. Cam Akers only had 33 yards on the ground, leading the Rams and not giving them that needed running back punch. The Rams show that the Super Bowl hangover isn’t a myth, it is real, and the Rams need to change out the gatorade they poured on Sean McVay with some Liquid IV to recover from this.
14- Tennessee Titans (3-2)
Derrick Henry continues to wake up slowly, having 28 carries for 102 rushing yards and two rushing touchdowns as well as thirty receiving yards, carrying the weight of this win on his shoulders. Ryan Tannehill threw for 181 yards and a touchdown in a really close win against debatably the worst team in the NFL. The Titans stay middle of the pack, but last years AFC #1 seed could come back in a moment’s notice, and I expect them to reach the top ten before the end of the season.
Game Ball: Derrick Henry
15- Cleveland Browns (2-3)
I will continue to beat a dead horse in saying it will always be hard to rank the Cleveland Browns with Deshaun suspended, but losing to the Chargers is not a bad thing, especially when it is only by two points. Brissett had a decent game throwing for 230 yards, a touchdown and an interception. Nick Chubb carried the Browns offense with 134 rushing yards and two rushing touchdowns, and was the only real reason they stayed in this game. The Browns would’ve won this game with Watson at QB, but the fact that they are this close to beating a top ten team shows they will be scary with Watson under center.
16- New York Jets (3-2)
The Jets scored 40 points for the first time since October 14th, 2018 when they did it against the Colts, the difference is they were playing a mighty Dolphins team. Zach Wilson may not have thrown a touchdown, but the Jets were scoring left and right. Breece Hall had 97 rushing yards and a touchdown, Michael Carter had 21 yards and two rushing touchdowns, Braxton Berrios rushed in a touchdown and so did Zach Wilson. With Tua on the field, this would’ve been a shootout, without him, the Jets easily won this game.
Game Ball: Zach Wilson
17- Miami Dolphins (3-2)
You may be asking how did the Dolphins fall so far down? Any team that lets the Jets score 40 points is getting a huge bump. They didn’t lose because they didn’t have Tua and Teddy Bridgewater got injured, they lost because their defense could not stop the Jets soaring offense. The QB for Miami was a man dawning the number nineteen named Skylar Thompson, the 7th round rookie. Thompson had 166 yards and an interception, but did better than his below average stat line. Raheem Mostert played very well, having 113 yards and a rushing touchdown. The Dolphins are screwed, and it is their doctor staff fault, so I don’t feel much remorse bashing a team that is putting winning over a player’s health.
18- New England Patriots (2-3)
Losing Mac Jones was a scary sight for Patriot fans, and losing longtime reliable backup QB Brian Hoyer was even scarier, but the legend of rookie Bailey Zappe continues to grow. The Patriots played in their red uniforms for the first time in over a decade, and got a similar result to the last time they used it. Zappe went for an efficient 17-for-21 passing for 188 yards, a passing touchdown and an interception, which blew most expectations out of the water. The win simply came down to the running game, but no one was expecting to see Zappe throw the ball twenty-one times. Rhamondre Stevenson had twenty-five carries for 161 yards, even without a touchdown, he not only made Patriots fans happy, but fantasy players extremely happy. Speaking of fantasy, the Patriots defense was spectacular. Matt Judon had two sacks and Jack Jones recorded an interception in their shutout win over Detroit, 29-0. Last player to talk about is everybody’s favorite underdog Jakobi Meyers, who had 111 yards and a receiving touchdown. A lot of people probably don’t know who Bailey Zappe is or the fact that he went to Western Kentucky University, but I’m positive most people didn’t know who Drew Bledsoe’s backup was.
Game Ball: Rhomandre Stevenson
19- Arizona Cardinals (2-3)
Everyone can freak out that Matt Ammendola missed a game tying kick, but an undrafted kid from the 2020 draft who Week One was playing with the Chiefs can’t be expected to be totally comfortable in his own shoes in just Week Five. The Cardinals played incredible, but lets all give Matt a break, this is how legends are made. Kyler did his best against the Eagles with 250 yards passing, a touchdown, an interception and 42 rushing yards, but considering it was literally double XP weekend in Call Of Duty, always expect a Cardinals loss. The Cardinals are doing much better than how they started, so blaming an entire loss against an undefeated team on one play is ridiculous, and I am officially Matt Ammendola’s biggest fan.
20- Las Vegas Raiders (1-4)
The Raiders lose a close one against the dominant Kansas City Chiefs, but a 1-4 record can not put you inside the top 20. Carr played great with 241 passing yards and two touchdowns, but this game was carried by Josh Jacobs. Jacobs had 154 yards and a touchdown in the game, leading the game in rushing yards. Davante Adams had his best game of the season with 124 yards on three catches and two receiving touchdowns, the second craziest stat line behind Travis Kelce’s. The Raiders could have won this game, and if it went to overtime they very easily could’ve against KC’s redundant defense.
21- New Orleans Saints (2-3)
Taysom Hill, Taysom Him, whatever you want to call him, he may have had the best game of Week Five. Taysom Hill rushed for 112 yards and THREE rushing touchdowns, also having one pass play, which resulted in a twenty-two yard touchdown. Alvin Kamara had 23 carries for 103 yards, making the rushing threat of New Orleans unstoppable. Andy Dalton also threw for 187 yards, a passing touchdown and an interception, but you only want to hear about Taysom Hill. Saints fans probably aren’t that happy with being ranked 21st, but I bet they’re happy about being above the Atlanta Falcons.
Game Ball: Taysom Hill
22- Denver Broncos (2-3)
I won’t even make a let’s ride joke, okay I’m lying to you, but this was a horrible game, the Broncos need to be off prime time, I will not talk about this loss, Broncos Country, let’s cry.
23- Atlanta Falcons (2-3)
I don’t really care what the plan is, either tanking or rebuilding, but wasting a year on Marcus Mariota at QB feels wrong. Mariota didn’t play half bad though, throwing for 147 yards and a touchdown while also rushing for 61 yards. The top receiver for the Falcons was Olamide Zaccheus with 39 yards. I don’t have to say much else, I’ve never heard of him, you’ve never heard of him, they need more weapons. After doing some research, Olamide is from Plainfield, New Jersey, so shout out Olamide with his seventh career touchdown, and second of the season.
24- Jacksonville Jaguars (2-3)
Trevor Lawrence had a whole lot of yards but a whole lot of nothing else. The ex-Clemson quarterback had 286 passing yards and an interception in a game no one wanted to watch against Houston. Riley Patterson had a great game, and that is probably a name you’ve never heard, he’s the Jaguars kicker. Patterson went two-for-two in the game with his longest kick field goal being 45 yards. Logan Cooke punted the hell out of the ball, and yes he’s the Jaguars punter if you weren’t aware. Cooke punted three times and had 159 yards punting, with one inside the twenty. Never did I ever expect to go in detail on a player’s punts in these, but never say never.
25- Seattle Seahawks (2-3)
After putting up 48 points last week, the Seahawks put up another 32 points, meaning they have scored 80 points in the last two weeks, and have been outscored by five points. That either means you are in two legendary shootouts, or your defense isn’t very good. This was supposed to be a season that groomed Drew Lock, but Geno Smith has not let go of the starting spot. Statistically, Geno is one of the most accurate quarterbacks in the NFL currently, and is playing much better than Russell Wilson is in Denver, something only Seahawks fans care about. Geno threw for 268 yards and three passing touchdowns, having yet again another masterclass. Tyler Lockett had 104 yards receiving and two touchdowns and DK Metcalf hauled in the other. Kenneth Walker III had 88 yards and a touchdown, and for those at home who love him, Michael Jackson had three tackles. Even with all of this, the Saints always looked ahead of them, and this team will not win in shootouts with its current defense, but they are flying past expectations.
26- Chicago Bears (2-3)
The Bears are just an odd team. They are blowing up early expectations, so good for them, but they still aren’t very good. My biggest question is, are they rebuilding? Are they tanking? Are they going for it all? I can’t tell, but they lost a very close game against Minnesota. Fields threw for 201 yards and a touchdown while also rushing for 47 yards. If I were to give Fields a comparison, it would be this; Justin Fields is the discount version of Lamar Jackson. There isn’t much to say about Chicago besides the fact that they are either confused or confusing, that’s up for your interpretation.
27- Pittsburg Steelers (1-4)
The only highlight of the Steelers game was Kenny Pickett getting upset after being taken down, and that is all Steelers fans had to get happy about for this week. Pickett did play very well, throwing for 327 yards and an interception, growing into the big shoes Big Ben left for him. This was the biggest loss of the Mike Tomlin era and the biggest Steelers loss since 1989, but I believe the Steelers have accepted they are in a full rebuild mode. One big issue I will bring up that could be fixed much faster than their lack of offense is getting rid of Chris Boswell, because if he kicked 100% yesterday, the Steelers would have only lost 38-9 instead of 38-3.
28- Indianapolis Colts (2-2-1)
I really don’t want to write about this game at all, you already saw what I said for the Broncos, but let’s hop into the stats a little. Matt Ryan was playing like it was past 2:12 in the third quarter of Super Bowl LI, absolutely atrocious. 251 yards and two interceptions are a stat line you may be happy with in an untested rookie like Bailey Zappe of the Patriots, but not for former MVP Matt Ryan. Speaking of the Patriots, former Patriot Stephon Gilmore pulled down an interception, so there’s that to be happy about. Chase McLaughlin gets the game ball, going 4/4 on field goals, his longest being 52 yards, the only points scored in this lame excuse of a soccer game.
Game Ball: Chase McLaughlin
29- Detroit Lions (1-4)
Being the number one scoring offense in the NFL is no small achievement, especially if you are averaging 35 points per game through your first four games. Seeing a team with said stat behind them, after losing 45-48 last week getting then getting completely shut out by the Patriots, smells like a top-five draft pick for the Lions this year. Jared Goff has a 1-3 record against New England, whether it’s with St. Louis or in the Super Bowl, Goff is most likely losing against Bill and company. Goff had 229 yards and an interception to Jack Jones, and the rest of the team followed with below average games across the board. When your kicker only has one kickoff and no kick attempts, you know your offense was not moving that day, and that is exactly what happened in the Lions 29-0 loss to New England.
30- Carolina Panthers (1-4)
The Baker Mayfield experience seems to hit a new low every week. Baker had 215 yards and an interception, allowing backup and once XFL star P.J. Walker get some snaps, something all XFL fans from 2020 want to see happen. Speaking of Walker, he went five-for-six with 60 yards passing in his season debut. Chrisitian McCaffrey had 54 yards and a touchdown as well as 50 yards receiving. The Panthers are tanking and rebuilding, and they aren’t afraid to let everyone know. In P.J. Walker we trust.
31- Houston Texans (1-3-1)
The next time you put the Broncos on primetime, you can’t have the Texans and Jaguars face each other that weekend, it should be a felony. This game just felt like we stepped back thirty years in football, when both teams didn’t exist. Davis Mills had 140 yards passing, that’s it. That’s really all he did. Oh! Almost forgot to mention, he also had two rushing yards. Dameon Pierce really looked like the future in this game, having the sole touchdown in the game and winning them their first game of the season. I never want to watch the Texans and Jaguars play again, and whoever put them in the same division knew they were going to have two awful football games a year.
Game Ball: Dameon Pierce
32- Washington Commanders (1-4)
Call it an overreaction, call it a prediction, I don’t really care, Carson Wentz will be gone from the league in the next eighteen months. With that said, Wentz had 350+ yards, two touchdowns and an interception, but when Carson Wentz is running your offense and carrying you, odds are you’re losing. Dyami Brown played well with over 100 receiving yards, but Washington is in a serious race for the number one overall pick, but that’s all the people want to see.
TheDyspatch 