I will admit when I’m wrong, and last weeks power rankings were wrong in most parts. This is my first time making a power ranking system, so I appreciate all of the texts I received that only made this weeks rankings better. With that being said, we saw some god awful horrible Week Two of NFL football, and here are the Week Two Power Rankings.
1- Buffalo Bills (2-0)
Josh Allen is looking like he is poised for an MVP season and the Bills are looking for an AFC Championship this year. Josh Allen threw for 317 yards for four touchdowns passing, making it look effortless on the field. Stefon Diggs went for three receiving touchdowns in the game, having twelve catches for 148 yards receiving as well. This offense is terrifying, but with the addition of the defense, this team could be the next dynasty for years to come. Myself and staff at The Dyspatch wish Dane Jackson a healthy recovery as well.
Game Ball: Josh Allen
2- Kansas City Chiefs (2-0)
The Chiefs did not move down a peg because they didn’t play well, they played incredibly, but the Bills were too dominant across both games to not give them the nod. Patrick Mahomes is leading the MVP conversation, only being in contention with Josh Allen. Mahomes threw for 235 yards and two touchdowns in a statement win over their rival Chargers. The race for the #1 seed in the AFC will be a battle between the Bills and Chiefs, and just like last year, not many of us expect it to only take sixty minutes of game time to determine a winner.
Game Ball: Patrick Mahomes
3- Philadelphia Eagles (2-0)
Jalen Hurts and the Eagles decimated the Vikings, showing that they could make a run like they did for Super Bowl 52. Hurts threw for 333 yards, a passing touchdown and one pick, but really killed the Vikings on the ground, rushing eleven times for fifty-seven yards and two rushing touchdowns, being responsible for all scoring plays against the Vikings. The Eagles look to continue their dominance this season, and look to be the underdog no one saw winning in preseason just like they were only a few years ago. Jalen Hurts is one of my personal darkhorse candidates for MVP, and is having an incredible start to the season for the Eagles.
Game Ball: Jalen Hurts
4- Miami Dolphins (2-0)
One of the most exciting comebacks in NFL history, and the best game of Tua’s career easily both make the Miami Dolphins a force to be reckoned with. Tua went 36-for-50, 469 passing yards, as well as a season high six passing touchdowns. After the comments from Tua regarding not being able to see over his offensive line, he shut all of his critics up with a six-touchdown game as well as scoring twenty-eight points in the fourth quarter alone. The craziest statistic of the game is that it was the first time teammates have had 150+ receiving yards, 10+ receptions and 2+ receiving touchdowns in the same game in NFL history. This team composed of Tua, Waddle, Hill and an incredible defense are knocking on Buffalo’s door in what will be a great fight for the AFC East.
Game Ball: Tua Tagovailoa
5- Tampa Bay Buccaneers (2-0)
Mike Evans showed he had hands in two different ways on Sunday, either with his three catches for sixty-one yards or his fist fighting in Tom Brady’s honor. TB12 threw for 190 yards and a passing touchdown in a lackluster game against the Saints. After the third quarter, the score was tied 3-3, then the Buccaneers scored 17 points in the fourth and won the game. Both games have been odd for Tampa Bay, but this team is filled to the gills with talent and after a few weeks will straighten everything out.
Game Ball: Tom Brady
6- Los Angeles Chargers (1-1)
The Chiefs are one of the hardest teams to beat in the NFL in the last five years, hence why the Chargers stay in the top ten even in a loss. Justin Herbert had a masterclass of a game, throwing for 334 yards and three passing touchdowns, as well as almost beating the Chiefs. Mike Williams excited fantasy owners across the country with his 113 yards and a touchdown in a big performance game for him. The Chargers are set up to have an incredible season, and will be one of the best teams in the AFC this year despite starting off 1-1 for their season.
7- Baltimore Ravens (1-1)
Blowing leads happens to every team. Every team will choke a lead at some point in their franchise’s history, but to let the Dolphins score 28 points in the fourth quarter is abysmal. Lamar Jackson played out of his mind, throwing 21/29 for 318 yards and 3 passing touchdowns while also rushing for 119 yards and a touchdown, breaking Michael Vick’s 100-yard rushing game record. Rashod Bateman and Mark Andrews both have over one-hundred yards receiving and both caught a touchdown. The Ravens are a solid and scary team, and will be a tough team to beat in the AFC, and this loss should show up as a fluke for most fans that watched.
8- Los Angeles Rams (1-1)
The Rams saved themselves from forever being the team that choked a 28-3 lead against the Falcons, winning 31-27. The Super Bowl Champions continue to have a rough start to the 2022-23 season, but get their first win of the season. Cooper Kupp continues right where he left off last season with an eleven reception game for 108 yards and two touchdowns. Matt Stafford continues to play well but is having a turnover heavy start to the season, throwing for 276 yards, three passing touchdowns and two interceptions. The Rams are happy with the win, but it is impossible to not talk about Brandon Powell’s one rush for negative twenty-six yards, one of the lowest averages in NFL history.
Game Ball: Cooper Kupp
9- Green Bay Packers (1-1)
Green Bay needed a tune up game after their awkward Week One, and now they are going into the rest of the season with a head of steam. Rodgers had 234 yards and two passing touchdowns, and the other Aaron being Aaron Jones scored the lone rushing touchdown for Green Bay. The Packers are now one win away from tying the series in games with Chicago, something that will most likely happen this year.
Game Ball: Aaron Rogers
10- San Francisco 49ers (1-1)
Injuries are everyone’s least favorite part of any sport, but it felt like the Trey Lance injury helped the 49ers out in a major way. Trey Lance was in for three passes, going two-for-three with thirty yards before being carted off with a leg injury, letting Jimmy Garoppolo have his first snaps of the season. Jimmy G had a standard game, thirteen-for-twenty-one passing for 154 yards and a touchdown, textbook Jimmy. While the passing game felt awkward to watch, Kyle Juszcyk and Jimmy ran touchdowns in for the team, really sealing the deal against Seattle. San Francisco’s defense stepped up in a big way, and a Jimmy G led 49ers is essentially the same team that made the NFC Championship last year, making the sky the limit for them.
Game Ball: Jimmy Garoppolo
11- Minnesota Vikings (1-1)
After a dominant Week One win, the Eagles put them in their place this week. Kirk Cousins had his signature hot garbage prime time game, throwing for 221 yards, a touchdown and three interceptions. This game was really over after the first half, which was the last time Minnesota saw the endzone. The Vikings are bound to have a huge season this year, but a little speed bump in Philadelphia is nothing to worry about for Vikings fans.
12- Denver Broncos (1-1)
When signing Russell Wilson, I doubt the Broncos ever expected to be starting off losing to the Seahawks and only beating the Texans by a touchdown, but that is their reality. Russell Wilson threw under 50% and only had 219 yards against the Texans lackluster defense, as well as a touchdown and an interception. Sutton continues to prove to be a bright spot for Denver, leading both teams in receiving yards by a longshot. Denver has always been known for having a dominant defense, but if they played like that against a great team they would’ve been blown out of the water for sure. The aggressiveness of their head coach has improved after public outcry in Week One, and this experiment in Denver will either end in success, or end up cooking Russell Wilson.
Game Ball: Russell Wilson
13- New England Patriots (1-1)
After a difficult Week One, New England bounces back in a big way with a win over Pittsburgh. Mac Jones and Nelson Agholor were on something else, both putting up great stats and leading the game in both. With these Patriots, it’s hard to see what the exact problem is, but they look to figure it out heading into the rest of the season with Mac Jones.
Game Ball: Mac Jones
14- New Orleans Saints (1-1)
Every time the Buccaneers and Saints play each other, it is either a complete shut out, or the worst game ever played. The score at the end of the half was 3-0 Saints, at the end of the third was 3-3, and then Tampa Bay scored 17 in the fourth alone. Jameis Winston had a vintage game against his old team, going 25-for-40 passing with 236 yards, one touchdown and three interceptions. This Saints team has a ton of potential and will be fun in a few years to watch, especially if they can get their quarterback position figured out. After a huge comeback win over the Falcons last week and a close loss to Tom Brady and company, the Saints stay right in the middle.
15- New York Giants (2-0)
The emphatic return of Saquon Barkeley has made the New York Giants have their first 2-0 start since Barack Obama was still president of the United States. Saquon may not have had the craziest game like he did last week, but he still had twenty-one carries for seventy-two yards as well as three catches for sixteen yards. Daniel Jones went 22-for-34 for 176 yards and a passing touchdown to Daniel Bellinger. At the end of the day the win came down to the foot of Graham Gano, and if that trend continues the Giants will go 17-0 this season.
Game Ball: Daniel Jones
16- Pittsburg Steelers (1-1)
Week One was thought to be a game where Pittsburgh looked to fine tune the offense, but it did not look any better in Week Two. In what was one of the most boring games of Week Two, Tribusky showed why he isn’t the greatest quarterback in the NFL, only throwing for 168 yards, a touchdown and an interception. Most of the game was stagnant and not enjoyable, but the Steelers look to face their rival Browns next week in what will either be a classic or a barn burner.
17- Dallas Cowboys (1-1)
The Cooper Rush situation looked like a season-ended in their season-opener, but not all hope is lost just yet. Cooper Rush had an efficient 235 yards and one touchdown. The win came off of their defense exclusively, keeping the Bengals low scoring and giving the offense every chance to grow and get more snaps together. Without Dak for weeks, the season looked bleak, but it’s not even close to over for the Cowboys who could still sneak a playoff bid this year.
Game Ball: Cooper Rush
18- Arizona Cardinals (1-1)
The Cardinals seemed to be up to par with last week’s game facing a 20-0 deficit in the first half, but ended up winning in overtime in a comeback for the ages. Kyler Murray did not come up short, throwing for 277 yards and a touchdown, and a 20.8 second two-point conversion that included him covering eighty-five yards in one play. Not many players played exceptionally, the Raiders more or less stopped playing. The Cardinals are due for an odd season that will all be encapsulated with a Hard Knocks in season edition that fans will eat up like they did with the Detroit Lions.
Game Ball: Kyler Murray
19- Cincinnati Bengals (0-2)
Cincinnati has started slow in both games this season, and that is why they’re losing games. Drafting Jamarr Chase was a great move, but the offensive line needs to improve to save Joe Burrow’s career as well as make it easier for him to do his job. We’ve watched quarterbacks who take an abnormal amount of damage due to their offensive line, most recently Ben Roethlisberger. If the Bengals can rebuild their offensive line, this team will be nasty for years to come, this slow start still keeps them in the top-twenty, lots of potential for Cincy.
20- Detroit Lions (1-1)
After putting up thirty-five points in a loss to the Eagles, the Lions show their grit and defeat the Commanders 36-27. Jared Goff threw for 256 yards and four passing touchdowns, one of his best games as a Lion so far. Amon-Ra St. Brown had a monster game, catching nine passes for 116 yards and two receiving touchdowns as well as two carries for sixty eight rushing yards, leading the team in both categories. The Lions played the full sixty-minutes, one of their strongest abilities this season, being the grittiest team on any field they play on. The Lions are in a rebuilding stage, but for the first time since Stafford left for Hollywood, Detroit is looking up.
Game Ball: Jared Goff
21- Tennessee Titans (0-2)
When everything goes right for a team, it’ll be obvious in the score, statistics and body language of the winning team, and the exact opposite was the case for Tennessee. Derrick Henry scored the only touchdown for the Titans in their 41-7 loss to the Bills, and was held to twenty-five yards for the game, one of the lowest of his career. Tannehill barely threw for one-hundred yards and two interceptions. When your punter has more yards than the rest of your team, you’re losing the game (unless you’re in Super Bowl 53).
22- Chicago Bears (1-1)
The Bears-Packers rivalry is one of the best in NFL history, and it did not disappoint in Lambeau this year. Justin Fields had one of the worst games of his career, throwing for 70 yards and a touchdown, but scoring the only touchdown for Chicago on his feet. Losing 24-7 to the back-to-back MVP Aaron Rogers when your team has no help or receivers makes sense, and the Bears are ought to end under .500 this season.
23- Las Vegas Raiders (0-2)
The Raiders have had the ugliest seasons of the past, losing Antonio Brown, Khalil Mack, Henry Ruggs, their head coach; it has been a very rough time in Las Vegas. Davante Adams had a rough first game in Las Vegas as a Raider, only catching two passes for twelve yards while also catching a touchdown. The touchdown is great, but he needs to produce like he did in Green Bay. The Raiders played great football, but only for forty-five minutes. The Cardinals scored the last twenty-two points and won in overtime. The biggest issue with Las Vegas is the fact that they have not finished out football games in both weeks, and it is the only thing holding them back from competing in a stacked division.
24- Jacksonville Jaguars (1-1)
Jacksonville shocked most of America in a shutout win over the Colts, showing shades of their past dominance. The Jaguars defense pulled down three interceptions off of Matt Ryan, as well as sacking him five times in the game. While Trevor Lawrence played well, the Jaguars defense is all to thank for the demoralizing win over Indianapolis. Lawrence threw 83%, throwing for 235 yards and two touchdowns, both to Christian Kirk. James Robinson had twenty-three carries for sixty-four yards and a rushing touchdown, being consistent but not breaking free much. The Jaguars will not make a Cinderella run this year no matter how girly Trevor Lawrence’s haircut is, but they will show definite improvement from last year and a better record.
Game Ball: Trevor Lawrence
25- New York Jets (1-1)
With Zach Wilson expected to be back in early October, the Jets are clinging on to any wins they can squeeze out of thirty-seven year old Joe Flacco, and it fully went their way in Week Two. After a tough loss to Lamar Jackson last week, Joe Flacco threw forty-four passes, completing twenty-six of them. While the pass and pray style won’t usually work, it worked incredibly well for Joe. Flacco threw for over three-hundred yards and four touchdowns in their upset win over the Watson-less Browns. Breece Hall had an insane game, leading the team in rushing yards as well and leading both teams in receiving yards with 102, along with two receiving touchdowns. The Jets had an unlikely comeback, and with Zach Wilson the Jets will go back to full rebuild and grow their roster.
Game Ball: Joe Flacco
26- Cleveland Browns (1-1)
In the eleven games they do not have Deshaun Watson, the Browns are going to be a very odd team and impossible to rank until week eighteen, but a loss to the Joe Flacco Jets is reason enough to be ranked low. Nick Chubb was playing hero football, carrying the team with 87 rushing yards as well as three rushing touchdowns. Jacoby Brissett played very well, going 22-for-29 and throwing for 229 yards, one passing touchdown and an interception. Amari Cooper had a vintage game, going for over one-hundred receiving yards as well as the lone receiving touchdown of the game. The Browns’ defense was one fans weren’t expecting to be lackluster, but allowing the Jets to score seventeen points in the fourth quarter is ridiculous. While everything will most likely work out once Watson is back under center, they need to work out every kink early in the season to make a run with this team this year.
27- Houston Texans (0-1-1)
The Texans treated Week Two as a soccer game, only scoring off of kicks. The Texans have had the slowest start to any team this season, blowing a lead to the Colts and allowing a tie all the way to letting the Broncos play awful and still beat them. Davis Mills threw 50% on the day and only had 177 yards with no touchdowns or interceptions. No player had over seventy yards, receiving or rushing, and the defense was minimal in the game. If Houston wants to turn their season around, it all comes down to being more aggressive. The Texans have so far been the most boring team in the NFL, and their lackluster record will continue that way if they don’t take more risks.
28- Seattle Seahawks (1-1)
When your time of possession is barely over twenty minutes, you’re either incredibly effective on offense, or you are struggling to move the ball. Week Two’s game was the latter. We couldn’t expect the Geno Smith experiment to work like it did against the Broncos all season long. Geno Smith went 24-for-30 passing for 197 yards and an interception. Geno is incredibly accurate and having a killer season on paper, but if you complete twenty-four of your passes and your offense does not score a touchdown, it spells trouble.
29- Washington Commanders (1-1)
The offense may not have been up to par, but this loss came down to the defense. Carson Wentz is continuing the trend of just throwing the ball, a lot. Carson went 30-for-46 for 337 passing yards, three passing touchdowns and one interception. Antonio Gibson may have taken a step back from Week One, but still had fourteen carries for twenty-eight yards and a touchdown, appearing to be a bright spot in Washington’s offense. Letting Jared Goff look like an all-pro quarterback is never going to make your defense look good, and the defense makes and breaks a season.
30- Indianapolis Colts (0-1-1)
Getting shut out is always very embarrassing, but getting shut out by the Jacksonville Jaguars is a different degree of embarrassment. Matt Ryan threw for 195 yards and three interceptions, giving his team none of the help they desperately needed. Jonathan Taylor had a slow game, only rushing for fifty-four yards. The Colts looked like they were playing the game in slow-motion, but making Trevor Lawrence look like a good quarterback just shows how awful Indianapolis is.
31- Carolina Panthers (0-2)
You could say the Baker Mayfield experience is off to a hot start, if you’re only considering the heat of a dumpster fire. Baker is having alright passing stats, but it’s also the team around him that is the problem. While you have Christian McCaffrey, you can’t solely rely on him and expect him and him alone to carry you to the playoffs. Baker went 14-for-29 passing, throwing for 145 passing yards and a touchdown pass to D.J. Moore. The stagnant defense is the Panthers biggest issue, not even able to stop a oddball New York Giants team that has now started 2-0 for the first time in over half a decade.
32- Atlanta Falcons (0-2)
The Atlanta Falcons are the only team that can choke, making another team choke. The commentator was adamant that a 28-3 point deficit was possible to comeback from as a joke on the broadcast, but he was right. Being down 28-3 in the third quarter is a situation we will never hear the end of, and the final score of this game was 27-31, the closest Atlanta has been to dropping the narrative of being chokers. Marcus Mariota threw for 196 yards, two passing touchdowns and two interceptions, just short of being able to get it done for Atlanta. Drake London had eighty-six yards and a receiving touchdown, being the reliable and favorite target the entire night. The Falcons defense made the defending Super Bowl Champion Rams cough up two interceptions and nearly made history, but blew it. Out of all teams to end up with the first pick in the 2023 NFL Draft, I would put my money on the Falcons, but they’d probably choke that too.
I hope you all enjoyed the Week Two Power Rankings! Where did I go wrong? What did you agree with? Let me know in the comments below or on any of my socials!
TheDyspatch 